Lyrical inspiration...

The following song has been rumbling around in my brain for the past few weeks so I figured I should let it inspire my blogging (since I have had a severe lack of inspiration lately).

If Today Was Your Last Day - Nickelback



My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?
What if, what if, if today was your last day?

Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you're never living twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are

So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothing stand in your way
'Cause the hands of time are never on your side

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

My body and I are not really agreeing currently. Yesterday afternoon I took 2 Tylenol and a zyrtec... all to no avail. Last night I took 3 herbal muscle relaxers (per my chiropractor's instructions) and drank some nighttime tea to help me sleep... I still woke up at 3am. If I'm not congested I'm battling insomnia of the worst kind. My energy reserves are tapped out and my brain feels like mush most of the days.

I know what I should be doing… juicing religiously, exercising, meditating, taking my vitamins… not drinking starbucks, not eating junk food, not sitting at my computer for hours playing the Sims… alas I’m on the path de destructo lately. (Not looking for sympathy, trust me… just trying to get these toxic thoughts out of my head)

I think there is a combination of things at work here. Most of which I don’t feel comfortable dissecting here for the entire world to read. (Not that I think I have much of a readership but you know what I mean) It’s just hard sometimes when you feel stuck… trapped and aren’t sure how to right yourself down the path that will lead to ultimate happiness. I’ve started too many projects and made too many commitments for my own sanity currently. This leads to a Karen who wants to hide in bed all day with trashy chick lit and drink Starbucks.

In other thoughts…

I have absolutely no desire to go to my high school reunion. None. It's not that I hated high school. Quite the opposite... I have fond memories and had some close friends. However, I mostly definitely would not say that they were the best years of my life… quite the opposite in fact. It wasn't until college that I really started to understand myself and embrace the me that had been screaming to be set free for all those years. I dyed my hair funky colors and pierced body parts. I also lost every single friend I had from high school (I am not laying blame here just to be clear). We became different people who couldn't relate anymore, all we could do was reminisce about the old days. And to me... that's not the best way to live life. I don't want to spend any more time in the past then necessary. I want to look forward with the knowledge that what happened in my past made me who I am. Which means that if you are reading this and we went to high school together... don't expect to see me next year. Sorry. Sorta.

Also…

In the event of my unfortunate demise my last wishes are as follows:

• I will be cremated and I want my ashes to scattered in cool locations. Take a road trip with my remains (ala Elizabethtown). I don’t want anyone to feel obligated to visit a certain location on a certain day and mourn me. Think of me fondly when you visit places I loved.
• P.s. Bury me and I will haunt your behind for the rest of eternity.
• You will donate whatever organs are salvageable. I'm pretty sure I'll have no use for them seeing as how I am now dead.
• No funeral. No preachers saying prayers over my body. I was not a religious person and I would like to be honored even in the event of my death. This also means that there will be no viewing my dead (read: CREEPY) body. I’m serious.
• You will throw a party in my memory. You will sit around blaring music, laughing and sharing stories about how awesome I was and how lame your lives will now be without me.
• P.s. Some crying is ok. It’s to be expected. I just expect far more laughing then crying.
• My party will contain a fully-loaded nacho bar and drinks will be catered by Starbucks. Strawberry Cheesecake is also permissible but not cherry, that’s just nasty.
• The music that shall be played with contain at the very least the following songs: Punk Rock Princess - Something Corporate, Rockstar - Nickelback, Longview - Greenday, and If I had a Million Dollars - Barenaked Ladies. If you play sad songs I will haunt your behind.

One final thought:

True FREAKING Blood.

Oh. My. Jebus. (The cool kids know what I’m talking about)

I’m done.

Expect to hear from me again in another month. Or 4… whenever I get off my behind and take back control of my life.