Case of the Mondays...

How Karen has been feeling lately...

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)
Every step I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I've becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)
And every second I waste is more than I can take

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I've becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I've becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Is everything what you want me to be
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Is everything what you want me to be
Numb - Linkin Park

It's not in response to anything specific. And yes, everything is perfectly blissful (well as blissful as can be in the midst of a disaster remodel) between Husband and I. It's just that... I suppose when one is faced with defending their entire personality and way of interacting with people it can make you feel a little moody.
I'm tired of trying to be perfect for everyone else.
I'm tired of trying to play the part for a million different people.
I just want to be me.
Imperfect and neurotic me.

Concert going, a reflection...

Husband and I's first "date" was a concert. We saw Vanessa Carlton, Third Eye Blind and The Goo Goo Dolls at Orange Peel in Stillwater. So I think it's ingrained in our very being that we connect in a very sublime way when we go to concerts. Prior to this past weekend it had been a while since we ventured out. It was lovely in the sort of way that going horse from screaming for 2 hours can be.

I will admit while standing in line surrounded by all the little "kiddies" in their punk rock prime-ness I felt a little out of my league. I wondered if I had it in me to stay up and active that late. Quite frankly I just felt old.

Expensive concert tees were purchased.
Beer was sniffed and surprisingly longed after by me.
We had what eventually turned out to be amazing seats.

I didn't care for the first two bands. The first screamed so loud and so often you couldn't understand anything beside the occasional F-bomb. The second, I've heard is somewhat well known, but again they did little to actually entertain me. Husband felt like they were trying to bring back the hair band. So we talked about other things during that time, mainly about guitar hero.

I had forgotten just how loud concerts can be.
At one point I asked Husband to check my ears just to be sure they weren't bleeding.
Although I must admit I love the feeling of the music vibrating your entire body.
That moment when it feels like the music is controlling your very heartbeat.
It is perhaps one of the most zen moments you can experience.

Linkin Park put on a great show, as expected. They had a nice mixture of songs from their 3 major label albums. When they played their harder-hitting songs you felt swept away by the excitement, bobbing around and screaming along in unison. When they played their slower softer songs you almost felt like you were drowning in emotion. They always kept you guessing with the pace.

One of the things I like best about seeing them in concert is they're a band of minimums. They don't need a bunch of stuff to put on a good show. Most of all though, they appreciate their fans. You don't see many bands walk around the pit hugging fans and taking pictures while they play their show. They did. When it was all said and done they didn't just run off backstage. They walked the stage for several moment waving to everyone. It was nice.

For the first time, in a long time, we really and truly enjoyed ourselves.

Linkin Park concert, in photos...

Last night was the long awaited Linkin Park concert in OKC. I will say this: the 2 opening acts were horrendous! I was deaf and bored out of my mind by the time Linkin Park actually took the stage. However, just like 4 years ago, when they finally took the stage I had the best time! I wish now we had bought the bonus pack of a DVD and Mp3 recording of our show. Oh well! Instead enjoy some crappy photos I took with my cell phone. A more thorough blog about the show to come, promise!