Missing...

Ellie
(or Smelly as she was affectionately referred to)
Loved from June 27th 2007 - March 24th 2009

Time heals all wounds:
At least now I can look at photos of her without being reduced to a sobbing pile of Karen. (yes that was *supposed* to be funny.)
At least now I feel a little less guilty.
At least now I know in my heart that I gave her the best life possible for the time we had together.

I kept picturing her in my head.
The way she used to peek her head around the corner of the house when you'd call for her.
The way her whole body would shake with joy when she saw you.
The way she'd cock her head to the side when you talked to her.
The way she'd scratch her back on the patio.
The way she'd bark and growl while scratching her back on the patio.
The way she'd wake herself up from farting.
The way she played with her toys with the abandonment of a puppy.

Husband was working night shift the week leading up to and the week that we lost her. I was a total mess. I would call him at work sobbing into the phone about what a horrible owner I was. I couldn't sleep because every time I closed my eyes I saw her face and couldn't seem to convince myself that we'd done the right thing...

Her hips had been bad since the day we took her in off the streets. I thought she was just having another one of her "bad" days... Then one day she laid down and wouldn't get up. I tried pumping her full of supplements... Then one day she refused to eat. That's when I knew... Even though I knew in my heart that we were doing the right thing... It hurt. It still does.

Before Ellie I was afraid of Rottweilers.

I miss her terribly.
I imagine I always will.