This is a topic I've gone out of my way to avoid blogging about until now. However, here goes.
I am not a Christian. I am not an atheist. I am me.
I have always been indifferent to religion. It existed and because of various friends I dabbled in it. I will say I never felt "it". That thing you're supposed to feel when you go to church. When prayers would be said I would close my eyes and daydream. My mind wandered as the preacher paced red-faced in front of me. I couldn't pay attention. I tried reading the bible on several occasions but found myself bored. I desperately wanted to fit in and be a "Christian" but I just never could.
Then I grew a bit older and made opinions about things. I found that the things I believed in weren't exactly kosher with most religions.
Then I grew a bit older and saw the terrible things that were done in the name of religion.
Today I would call myself a budding Buddhist. Not because it's hip or trendy but because I feel like Buddha is a kindred spirit. I am never more at peace with myself and the world then when I am meditating (reference my zen moment blog).
I don't want a faith or spirituality that is based on the fear of going to hell.
And to be frank I've always had a bit of a problem with an omnipotent being watching us all be horrible and nasty to each other without doing anything about it. Yes I know what omnipotent means and yes I know what the theory is about free will. (I have had far too many discussions with believers not to know my history) It just always bothered me.
I think when it comes right down to it we're all searching for the same thing. Just because we search for it in different ways doesn't mean that we're all so different we can't peacefully co-exist. I would love to have more friends for a variety of religions because I find spirituality/religion to be fascinating.
And that's my two-cents.
5 comments:
What brought this about?
Questioning is the sign of an enlightened mind.
All that matters is that you find something that makes you feel good and can help you in times when you need it. I'm glad that you have found something that helps you!
I have some similar ideas due to what I have largely come to see as "Christian" attitude here in the Bible Belt. I do believe in evil. I don't know about Hell. I was brought up a Baptist but went to other denominations as well. I did have an experience in my youth when I was baptized that left me confused but euphoric. Maybe I was having a Zen moment.
I think the common misconception people make about Christianity is that it's inflexible. The history of Christianity is about fitting the teachings to the lives of the people at the time they receive it - hence all those stories in the bible that - who knows how many times they've been mistranslated.
The rigid dogma and really the bad PR regarding Christianity comes not from god but from the humans who claim to know god but set up their own rules. I believe in a personal relationship with Jesus and an individual interpretation of the Bible.
I think all those wacky evangelicals and false prophets (the same ones mind you that used Christianity to authorize corruption, segregation, holocausts, and other lovely things) are the ones who have given it a bad name and is the reason so many are turned off. That's why I've gone to the Spiritual Jesusite nomenclature. Because of the Jerry Fallwells of the world.
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