When I was younger I thrived on pressure and deadlines. I would put things off till the very last minute because I convinced myself that I worked best under pressure. I would even go so far as to make up bogus lists of things that "had to be done" and run around like crazy in order to feel productive. I'm pretty sure I was some form of adrenaline junky. However, in college that lead to my immune system nearly shutting down on me.
In the years following I've become quite the opposite. I've become sedentary and comfortable in routine. I avoid pressure like most people avoid carbs nowadays. Change has become the enemy. Change triggers anxiety in me and the anxiety then throws my immune system into what feels like complete meltdown. This is why I currently feel like doing nothing more then crawling back under my down comforter with some claritin and a bucket of ibuprofen.
For the past couple of days it felt like my right arm had been dislocated. Every time I would try to raise my arm I would practically scream out in pain. I figured I either had to be sleeping on it funny or maybe I had minor injuries from a dog at the vet pulling on the leash too hard. Then there's the issue with my legs feeling like they are strained to their breaking point. I've been hobbling around the house for a few days now and it's very attractive to say the least. Sleeping? Yea... not getting much of that. At least not getting much quality sleep anyway.
This month will most likely tests whatever energy reserves I have left. I will be working every morning at the vet from 7:30-10:30ish. Then I go to the bank from 11-6:15pm. I'm also alternating weekends with the vet and the bank. This means I get one Sunday off every other week. I'm trying not to be irritated with the bank. I know they need me to work because we're very short-staffed but this is getting a little out of hand. Had I known that I would be working full-time at the bank and part-time at the vet I probably wouldn't have gotten myself in the situation to begin with.
When I'm home... I don't feel like doing anything. I'm so worn out that I can barely focus enough to watch TV, let alone check a dozen networking/blogging sites. So if you don't hear from me much this month... it's not that I don't care it's just that I'm so tired.
1 comment:
I'm like you - i used to thrive on last minute stuff and actually would be somewhat successful. Now I have no strength to get whatever it is done and am more likely to say "eff it"
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