Missing...

Ellie
(or Smelly as she was affectionately referred to)
Loved from June 27th 2007 - March 24th 2009

Time heals all wounds:
At least now I can look at photos of her without being reduced to a sobbing pile of Karen. (yes that was *supposed* to be funny.)
At least now I feel a little less guilty.
At least now I know in my heart that I gave her the best life possible for the time we had together.

I kept picturing her in my head.
The way she used to peek her head around the corner of the house when you'd call for her.
The way her whole body would shake with joy when she saw you.
The way she'd cock her head to the side when you talked to her.
The way she'd scratch her back on the patio.
The way she'd bark and growl while scratching her back on the patio.
The way she'd wake herself up from farting.
The way she played with her toys with the abandonment of a puppy.

Husband was working night shift the week leading up to and the week that we lost her. I was a total mess. I would call him at work sobbing into the phone about what a horrible owner I was. I couldn't sleep because every time I closed my eyes I saw her face and couldn't seem to convince myself that we'd done the right thing...

Her hips had been bad since the day we took her in off the streets. I thought she was just having another one of her "bad" days... Then one day she laid down and wouldn't get up. I tried pumping her full of supplements... Then one day she refused to eat. That's when I knew... Even though I knew in my heart that we were doing the right thing... It hurt. It still does.

Before Ellie I was afraid of Rottweilers.

I miss her terribly.
I imagine I always will.

In loving memory...

My dear sweet Ellie.

I loved you more then words could ever express.
I really hope you knew that.

I'm so sorry.

When it rains...

...it pours.

I've been trying to look on the bright side of things for a while. It's not working. My whole existence seems to be on the dark & stormy side lately.

The recap:
I broke out in an allergic reaction Thursday evening. Went to an urgent care where they gave me prednisone and told me to take some Zyrtec.
Cleared up overnight. Broke out again the next evening. Went back to urgent care where they gave me an IV solution of Benedryl, Pepcid and something else. They also told me to up my dose of Prednisone.
Saturday morning, my hands swell and become painful. Husband calls urgent care, again, where they inform him they've done all they can and now I'll have to go to the ER. The hives started breaking out again that evening so we proceed to ER. At the ER they give me an injection of Benedryl, Xantec and a different prescription for Prednisone. I have to take 2 Benedryl every 6 hours and Xantec twice a day. They tell me to see an allergist.

Husband tries to call several allergist today. He gets me an appointment for next Monday and says I have to stop Benedryl 4 days prior to the visit. I ask him about the other meds. He didn't think to ask. I call back. They inform me I have to finish my Prednisone before they can see me. That pushes my visit back to the 14th. I ask what I'm supposed to do if I break out again between the time I'm off the meds and when I go in... they say sorry...

Add to that:
One of my dogs is having issues getting around...
Husband's car died, it needs a new fuel pump which will cost $900.
We have to pay taxes which are around $1,000.

I just want to crawl in bed...

West Coast, yo... part 2

(Flight from San Jose to Seattle)

(Seattle by night from the Space Needle)

The first night that I was in Seattle Lauri and I decided to go to the Space Needle. Now I'm terrified of heights, so you can imagine this went over really well. We purchased a combo ticket that allowed us to a night viewing as well as a day viewing within a 24 hour time period. The elevator ride up was horrifying. We walked around the inside of the observation deck first while I worked up my nerve. As soon as we walked outside though I freaked. I immediately flattened myself against the wall because I didn't know the floor would be slanted and it scared me half to death. Eventually though I pried myself away from the wall and we were able to walk around. The ride down was equally horrifying and I couldn't muster up any questions to ask our "guide" because I was too busy seeing my life flash before my eyes.

(You can see the rain "trying" to start but we lucked out with such a glorious day)

The day viewing wasn't quite as horrifying, mostly because I was a little better prepared. Scared of heights or not though this was such a beautiful view.
After the Space Needle we ventured to The Pacific Science Center which was probably my 2nd favorite thing. This is me being a nerd. The dinosaurs were animated and it scared the bejebus out of me the first time they moved. Again I'm a total nerd.
The bathrooms at the PSC were hysterical. Who knew bodily functions could be quite so interesting?
Later that night at the EMP... Me, again, being a total nerd at EMP (Experience Music Project). The EMP/SFM (Science Fiction Museum) was pretty interesting. We managed to go on a night that they were doing free admission. I'm not how I would have felt about the experience had I had to pay for it. Mostly because I got told to stop taking pictures. Jerks. Although I do love you Seattle, mostly because you gave us Kurt Cobain and grunge... my 14 y/o self thanks you profusly.
This is the next day... from the Seattle Aquarium. My experience was completely affected by the massive amounts of screaming/hysterical kids completely dominating every exhibit. No offense to the aquarium itself.
Pike Place Market, aka where Karen died and went to heaven! I spent the entire day Friday bouncing between PPM and the Aquarium. It was glorious weather so I couldn't have picked a better day to do outdoors type stuff.
No I didn't see them throw any fish... I couldn't take the smell or the huge crowds of people hanging around to see them throw fish. I was hoping I'd just get lucky but alas it wasn't to be. If I wasn't so horrified of fish this would have been far more fascinating I'm sure.
Why can't Tulsa have anything half as beautiful as this? Looking at all the beautiful/reasonably priced produce made me want to learn to cook... *sigh*
The original Starbucks! Woohoo! I had one goal in Seattle and this was it. I ordered my beverage and it was delicious. I realize I'm a total nerd, trust me. As a side note: Poor Lauri. I couldn't find the place for the life of me so she patiently kept texting me directions till my poor lost self found it. *Much love*
Our tour guide from the Seattle Underground Tour. It was interesting. Not your typical touristy thing, I don't think, but the history of Seattle is very...bizzare. I didn't get any really good pictures because my camera battery was dying and the lighting (as you can imagine) was terrible!
I also succeeded in making it to Trader Joe's. I want one in Tulsa soooo badly. I bought 3 bottles of their $2 Chuck, which did make it home successfully.

Me and Lauri! Aren't we just so cute and stuff?

The sky on my way home...

Words can't express what a great/wonderful/amazing time I had. Thank you a million times to Lauri for putting up with me and going along on all the touristy stuff I wanted to do... I must confess though I am happy to be home...

West Coast, yo... part 1

(Driving over the Bay Bridge...)

The shuffle gods have been trying to get me to blog about my trip for days now... today I am finally caught up on sleep, the jet lag has worn off and I have a few hours to myself. So here goes nothing...
(p.s. The photos I don't post here can be found on my flickr page... they are private though so friend me to see them all)

My flight left Saturday February 28th at 7:10 from Tulsa International (ha!) Airport. This meant Karen was awake at 4:45 trying to triple check that she had in fact packed her underwear. I finally pulled Husband out of bed about 5:15 and we were off...

(He's excited can't you tell?)

I successfully passed through airport security without a strip search by that burly security guard Wanda I mentioned previously and then proceeded to have a small panic attack while waiting to board the plane. I forgot how much flying scares me until I found myself crying during take-off. lol Yea I felt like a total idiot and I'm sure the woman sitting next to me thought I was insane.
The flight to Dallas was short and sweet (half an hour) and it was kinda fun though to watch the sunrise from the plane...
I get off the plane in Dallas and what's the first thing I do? Look for the nearest Starbucks, forget finding my gate... I needed breakfast.
Breakfast O' Champions I tell ya... Of course as soon as I settle in at my gate with my breakfast they announce a gate change... all the way across the airport. At this point I would like to say I love the monorail system at the Dallas airport... freaking sweet.

(supposed to be a picture of the Grand Canyon but I was in the aisle seat so therefore the picture is sorta lame)

The flight from Dallas to San Jose was long and drawn out. I ate my pretzels, read and listened to massive amounts of Nickelback to pass the time. Of course Starbucks before a (nearly) 4 hour flight is not a smart thing and I found myself fighting my way to the bathroom mid flight.

Arrived in San Jose safe and sound. After a quick stop at Michelle's place we were off to San Fransisco for Comicon. Comicon was packed... The line for the Star Trek panel was wrapped around the building. (Good thing neither of us cared about Star Trek) I got exactly one picture that entire day. I should have taken a picture of the guys dressed up as X-Men (Night Crawler looked phenomenal!). Alas jet lag had dulled my common sense. Eventually we headed back to her house and nachos.

Man I miss Taco Bravo. They make some mean nachos. I felt bad for the girl behind the counter though because I took FOREVER to make up my mind. (I felt like a zombie lol) We giggled our way through nachos and The Water Boy... with me eventually admitting defeat and hauling my delusional butt off to bed.

Guess what though? I was wide awake at 6:30. Stupid time change.

That day we hit The Winchester Mystery House.
That place made me not feel quite so bad about my house...
I also developed a strange obsession with the wallpaper in the house. Most of the pictures I took are of the wallpaper, forget the door to nowhere... I want that wallpaper.
After we dropped the boy off we headed back to San Fransisco where we promptly got turned around trying to find Fisherman's Warf. So we walked the streets of San Fran with Michelle's pepper spray at the ready. We eventually found it but instead of actually going to the warf we went to Ripley's Believe it or Not.

I brushed up on the tools needed to kill vampires...
The great Zoltar read my fortune...

"The crystal gazer has wonderful things in store for you. A dear one will return from a long trip and your whole life will be different. You have a very patient disposition and your patience is about to be rewarded. Despair not I say for your days of despair will soon be over. Your calm spirit, and your good sense will see you through all emergencies. You have many friends, particularly in the armed forces. They are loyal to you, and are glad of an opportunity to be of "service" to you."

I also found out what will be written on my tombstone:
Monday I met up with the wonderful Josie and we headed back to San Fransisco to have lunch at a delicious raw/vegan restaurant.
Cafe Gratitude stole my heart and made me long for something half as wonderful in good 'ol T-Town.
The lunch sampler that we split:
And the most delicious cheesecake I've ever had...
Go on... call me a dirty hippie if you must... and yes I bought their recipe book.

Tuesday after Michelle attended a parent/teacher conference for the boy we attempted to hit Berkeley but the freezing rain didn't inspire us to ever really leave the car to walk around.
That night we got Thai food...
I liked everything until my entree came out... as you can tell. I felt like my head was going to catch on fire it was so spicy and evil...

Afterward Michelle was determined to hit the beach. So we went, in the freezing cold rain...
(See?! Freezing cold rain)
The waves were huge and horrifying...
After being thoroughly soaked and scared half to death by the incoming tide we cranked up the butt warmers in her car and drove home.

Michelle and I at the airport. What you don't see is me forgetting my jacket at her apartment the first time she tried dropping me off or the second time I forgot it in her car and had to fling myself at her car as she's driving away. Yea airport security got a kick out of that one...

So there ends the first half of my trip. Again much love and gratitude goes out to Michelle for loaning me her bed and putting up with me. Many thanks to Josie for the wonderful lunch date. You guys rock!

No more teasing...

Because I know you're all dying to know...
March 2nd 2009, Lucky Star Tattoo, San Jose
Karen goes for #2

Not the most comfortable position ever.
My hands kept falling asleep.


My freckly back with the tattoo outline.


The first section being done.


A little farther into it...


God my skin looks so red and irritated...


Me checking out the tattoo in the mirror.


Up close and personal...

The guy was a total jerk but the generally accepted theory is that the more of a jerk/bitch the tattoo artist is... the better. Mostly because it means they are good. This guy was no exception. I think the tattoo turned out better then I could have ever imagined.

No it didn't hurt. It was a little uncomfortable at times but less painful then a routine dental cleaning in my honest opinion. Completely different then the experience with my ankle which made me nearly hurl.

I dig it. Husband digs it (as much as an anti-tattoo man can dig a tattoo I suppose). That's really all that means.

Thanks to my photographer Michelle for documenting the experience.

Preamble to: West Coast, yo!

Karen is tired.
Karen is never leaving Husband home alone again.
Karen came home to a house that looked like it had exploded.
Karen is very, very tired.

I have rounded up the piles of dirty clothes and shipped them over to the in-laws for washing.
I have started tackling the mounds of mail piled around the house. My sack o' recycling will soon be over flowing.
Phone calls have been made to rectify certain monetary issues.
Computers are being synced and eventually photos will be uploaded to flickr.

I still haven't unpacked.
I still haven't totally caught husband up on all my adventures. This shall be remedied tonight over Mexican food.
I still need to do the dishes that Husband has neglected.

Mostly I need to sleep.

My flight landed at 8 last night, I didn't get to bed until after 11 and then I had to work at the ugly butt-crack o' dawn. Loosing 3 hours and flying for nearly 5 wears the body out.
My back hurts and I'm cranky.

Let me just say though... Michelle, Josie, and Lauri... I love you guys. Thanks for the most wonderful vacation this girl has had in a loooong time.

Here I am...

(A teaser photo, because I'm that kind of friend)