Saturday ramblings...

I keep thinking that something will come to me. That a really great articulate blog idea will materialize and it will flow seamlessly from my brain to the keyboard. Alas that is not the case. I've been an intellectual mess the past few weeks.

I don't really feel like my work-place drama has been resolved. If anything, I feel like the recent events are killing whatever remaining moral we may have had. We are under-staffed so things aren't running as smoothly as they were before. Plus add that to the fact that my scheduling has yet to be resolved and set in stone.

Most days I love my job. Although there are those days where I leave feeling so unsettled. I think about the 7 week old puppy who developed a heart murmur and had to be euthanized because it was the right thing to do. But then there are those moments that despite the fact that you KNOW it was the right thing to do you can't help but feel devastated. I asked one of the vets today if it ever got any easier, despite the fact that I already knew the answer, and she said no. She says that you learn to move on easier afterwards but it will never get any easier. I could barely look in the face of the woman with the puppy afterwards because I just didn't know what to say or do. I've always been a hyper-emotional person but I don't think I ever learned how to respond to other people's emotions. Maybe it's a skill I will be forced to learn now.

Husband volunteered for a what I consider a substantial deployment this summer. It's not even a for-sure thing but I find myself distraught anyway. I'm not really good at being a "military" wife therefore I'm always thankful he's just in the National Guard. Although he was offered a temporary position on base which we're both really happy about. It'll be for only four months but hopefully it'll give him the leverage to get a full-time position in the not-so-distant future.

Last weekend I went into OCD mode and reorganized 95% of our bookshelf unit. (I would have done it all but was entirely too lazy to balance precariously on a chair to get the top 2 shelves) I even threatened Husband with a swiffer duster when he suggested another way of doing things. This is yet another reason I should not be allowed to clean. Granted the rest of our house is still a mess but at least now my books are organized.

I had to drop one of the classes I was taking this semester. With everything that has been going on lately I should couldn't handle it as well as I had hoped. In doing so I also decided to put off getting into the tech program for a while. I think it all happened too much too soon. Besides to do what I'm wanting to do you don't even technically need to be certified in Oklahoma. This takes a little pressure off me for a while which is really nice. For now I'm just enjoying learning all the different aspects of veterinary medicine.

I'm sure I've blathered on long enough about nothing entirely relevant so I'll wrap this up. Until next time...

Told you!

An update on the job situation:

• After my pow-wow with the powers that be at my job I was able to salvage my job after agreeing to an hour cut, leaving me at around 20 hours.
  
• Did not realize that above event would make me feel so amazing and proud of myself. Kind of like that...
  
• Today our receptionist found out that she is indeed getting the other job she had interviewed for a while back.
• The practice manager just called to ask me if I would be willing to take over as a full-time receptionist considering the circumstances.
• Did small victory dance.
  
• I think practice manager now realizes why I fought so hard to keep said job. (Everyone but her knew about this potential situation)
  
• Everyone happy. Except maybe the practice manager.
  

I feel so happy. I feel vindicated. Things are going to keep getting better I can feel it.

How it really went down...

Yesterday was a bad day. Let me set some background for you: The vet clinic I work for is part of an association with three other clinics. Our particular vet clinic is not in the greatest shape financially speaking.

The practice manager approaches me and says she's transferring me to another clinic and I'm "not really needed here anymore". When I express concern over the fact that this clinic is in Bixby (30-45 minute commute) and I'm not sure I can afford it with my current salary she immediately snaps into the "well if you ever need a reference... we'll be leaving on good terms" crap. I was horrified. My back was against the wall. I told her I would think about it and left.

That began the day of frantic text messaging and hushed phone calls with my current co-workers who were equally horrified and didn't want to loose me. I must have cried my eyes out yesterday. I felt like that was all I could do. I know two girls, one particular, really stood up for me and tried to fight them on this decision. We all knew that if I went to this other clinic I would never be allowed back. I went to bed last night feeling like my life was falling apart.

This morning I went in ready for a fight. I cornered both the practice manager and vet into the break room and told them how I felt. I explained that I love the facility I'm at, I always refer to the staff as my dysfunctional family and I would do anything to stay there. I explained how I thought the way situation was approached was completely unfair giving the fact that I have given up a lot to be there for them whenever they need me. I reminded them how I've worked every holiday since I've been there and most weekends and never complained. I asked them why if they all "loved" me so much and thought I was such an amazing asset to the company would they be willing just to throw me away. I think I finally got my point across.

The vet finally stood up for me. I know that he's really putting his neck out on the line for me now but I feel like I deserve it. I'm not going down without a fight. I don't ask for much but I demand to be shown some respect and consideration.

The school blues...

Karen's current list of grievances regarding school:

1. Girl who chewed off her fake fingernails during our chemistry lecture. Then got nasty when I helpfully pointed out that one of her nails had flown in my general direction and could she please pick it up off my bag.
   
2. Foreign teacher who I can't understand.
   
3. Lazy project partner in biology who can't be bothered to stop texting long enough to buy a damn book and stop looking over my shoulder.
   
4. Also lazy project partner in biology who was afraid to get HIS fingers dirty so made me plant all 10 of our plants.
5. Stupid internet math class that made me pay over $100 for materials that are already online and I could have had access to for only $45.
   
6. Stupid math class.
   
7. Goggles that leaves marks on my face and lab apron that is not only purple plastic but also just long enough that I continually trip.
8. Forgetting how fast paced college can be and winding up terribly behind not even a week in.
9. Having to leave my house 45 minutes before class just so I can find a parking space that isn't 3 miles from campus. (I live maybe 10 minutes away)
10. Textbooks are heavy.

Going back to school... not my brightest idea ever.

11 days ago...

Did anyone think of a bad zombie movie when they saw my title? Maybe it's just me...

We are 12 days into the new year and so far I am failing miserably at whatever meager goals I set for myself. This is why I really should give up resolutions. They are nice thoughts but I don't think I have ever accomplished one.

Since I have been asked by so many people... I now present to you a description of what I'm going back to school for (taken directly from their website):

"Veterinary Technicians are essential members of the veterinary health care team. A Registered Veterinary Technician will support and augment the technical capabilities of many fields that involve animal care, including private veterinary practice, biomedical research, herd health management, teaching, zoological parks, and government services. Under the supervision of a licensed veterinarian, a technician may perform a variety of duties including: intensive nursing care, clinical laboratory procedures, radiology, anesthesiology, dentistry, surgical assistance. A graduate will also have an in-depth understanding of the fundamentals of animal husbandry, management, and nursing care for a variety of species."

More or less it means I will be assisting the "actual" vet draw blood, run lab tests, etc... I ultimately would like to work for the SPCA, Humane Society or some other rescue-type organization. It's not that clinic work isn't fascinating... because it is... it's just not where I want to be forever.

Going back to school has been... weird. Trying to juggle that and working full time has been exhausting. I'm only a week in and I'm stressing about being behind... already. Blah. Husband is having to tutor me in my math class. It's been years since I took a math class and the last one I successfully completed was some weird math class for liberal arts majors. I hate math. I think he hates trying to help me because I'm such a lost cause. lol I'm not sure about my other two classes yet. Only time will tell.

Things at work are pretty good. There are a few things still up in the air as far as my schedule goes but I'm trying to be patient. I have a hard time when things aren't written in stone but... that's life. At least I'm through with banking. That's what I keep telling myself.

Oh yea... New Hampshire you suck. You know what you did.

I finally managed to obtain a copy of Guitar Hero 3 for the Wii and Husband has been obsessively playing ever since. I played it once... Butthead.

I had more to blog about but I'm running out of steam. I've been awake since 5:30. Naptime.

Look both ways...

2007 didn't go out with a bang. I was in bed by 8:30 with a massive migraine. Husband came to bed about midnight, while fireworks went off we exchanged sleepy "happy new year"s, kissed and went back to snoozing. We are an exciting pair I tell you.

2007 had its up and downs I suppose. For your viewing pleasure I offer the highlights in bulleted format.

• 2007 lead me through 3 different jobs and countless interviews that went nowhere.
  
• Eventually though I finally can say I'm in a career I enjoy.
  
• I discovered organic living and became a hippie I suppose.
• Husband had a mini-health crisis.
• I rediscovered Buddhism.
• I gave up on scrap booking because of lack of time.
  
• I found out that life without DVR service is nearly unbearable.
  
• I got a Wii and realized just how out of shape I really am.
• Husband and I debated the question of children... never really coming to a conclusion.
  
• I think I developed adult ADD.
• My dad gave me his Cannon EOS 1 35MM camera and I discovered that my dogs should be models. Or I should be a dog photographer... lol
• I finally used my slow cooker, 2 years later... *cough*
• I realized that I can no longer handle horror movies. Too bloody. Yuck.

In this new year there are few things I hope to accomplish. I won't call them resolutions because there's a sense of defeat in that term. These aren't things I *have* to change but rather things I would *like* to change. I'm not perfect, I realize that, but right now it's more important to love myself (as is). Red's blog a few days ago (letter to my body) made me realize something profound. Something intense and something very profound, it's personal though.

I hope above all us that this will be the year for profound change. I hope this year will provide positive outcomes instead of bitter disappointment. I hope this year will help both Husband and I bridge the gap from young adults to adults without much turbulence. I hope this year makes all of the previous years worthwhile. It's going to be good though. I can feel it. I'm staying positive Li. Promise.